Wacky mountain bikers

"Dear Swine,

On September 1, 1998, I was on a relaxing ride through the woods near my home when something catastrophic happened. While cruising along at a brisk pace, I hopped off the end of a foot bridge, and upon impact with the ground, my AVENIR handlebar snapped in two. Fortunately, thanks to catlike reflexes and a permanent dulling of fear through near constant consumption of alcohol, I was able to prevent permanent injury. However, I am now sporting a 4-inch gaping wound on my shin, deep enough to expose the bone. Admittedly, Im not sure how many stitches it would have needed, because I opted to go out drinking last night instead of waiting around in the emergency room. But I digress...

After this negative experience with an Avenir product, I felt compelled to share my opinion with you in the hopes that a mutually productive agreement could be made, i.e. the crap you make blows, gimme stuff before I sue."

The full letter is also available.